Phase 11: Hoko's

So my sister lives above Hoko's in scenic East Vancouver. Hoko's is a great place where a very nice Korean man runs a small, struggling sushi/karaoke establishment. For a while, he started having shows. He genuinely loved the music, as one could tell from the fact that he would break out his camcorder and record the shows in between sushi orders. Unfortunately, this city has stupid priorities, and felt the need to shut down shows at a sushi restaurant on a completely deserted street where the majority of people out after 8 p.m. are on crack or heroin.

Anyhow, my sister lives on top of Hoko's. Hoko is her landlord. I've always wanted to live on top of a store and in an open space. I got to try it out.



Conclusion: Super nice but very very cold.

Sihking nourishment.

To commemorate my last day at the Cuisse de Nymph house, Besh and I went down the road to the Sihk temple to eat. It was an interesting cultural experience. Everyone there was a white-skinned mooch just like us. It sort of feels like standing in line at the soup kitchen when you're not actually homeless.

Damn the Torpedos

So I just found out that Aaron has been referring to the room I share with Besh as "The Refugee Room". I like it. I will say I've never shared a room with someone who had such a high tolerance for my love of the snooze button.



Besh has made my new keys into her office:






So I'm moving out now into my sister's place for free. Here is my October budget:

Rent: $241.50
Storage: $75
Car Insurance: $133
Extra Gas: $100
Total (rounded): $550

My savings this month will add up to about $140. Not bad.

Easter Van: The big, crowded house.

Okay, so this house is Aaron, Ben, and Dan.

First, Ben went on tour and I moved into his room.

Then, Dan went to Indonesia and Besh showed up and started subletting his room. Dan's room is awesome because it's huge and it has two beds and a giant movie projector that shows DVDs on the wall. At this point, the house was me, Aaron, and Besh. Besh's friend Juls showed up from the East Coast and started staying in Dan's room too, since it has two beds. Aaron doesn't seem to mind when things like this happen. Eventually Juls left. Then, one day, I came home to discover Ben had come back from tour. Since I had nowhere to go, I simply dragged my possessions into Dan's room, where I'm now sleeping. Besh has a bed, I have a bed, and we're both chilling until Dan gets back. Dan is back on the 22nd, and my sister leaves on the 21st, so I have a place to stay continuously. Sweet.

Phase 10: Cuisse de Sublet!

So why haven't I been updating? This weblog is supposed to be about living rent free, and I sort of haven't been living rent free. I had originally planned to leave on my trip in September/October, but then I found out my friend Ben from work was leaving at the same time on tour. We can't both leave at once, and since his was a booked tour and mine was an unbooked vacation, I postponed. Here is Ben:



When all my friends started ditching the suburbs and moving to Vancouver, the first house that got going was the A.A.A.K. house, featuring Aaron, Aaron, Amy, and Kris. This was almost the prototype for my first two houses, and a lot of the same people lived in 2 or 3 of those houses. The A.A.A.K. house continued for years with high turnover, including a point at which no original resident lived there. Aaron was a founder, and ended up living there at the end as well. Ben and Dan are two people who both lived in the A.A.A.K. house over the years. Aaron, Ben, and Dan are the current residents of the Cuisse de Nymph house. Since Ben is away on tour during a time I expected to be away, I'm subletting his room. It's cheap, but when one adds storage and vehicle costs, it's probably about the same:

Rent: $483
Utilities: $40
Storage: $75
Car insurance: $133
Extra gas: $80
Money saved by having my own kitchen and cooking less often: -$50 (estimate)

Total: $71 extra was spent this month as compared to the Backside House.

Keys are the Bane of my Existence

Keys are everywhere. I think right now I have about 25-30 keys, and at points since I've been doing this, it's been worse than that. Lately I've been strategically splitting up my keys. For example, when I was with Nevada and Tara and I had a broken foot, I kept my apartment keys on my van keys, then left all my other keys like for work and stuff in my van. My latest key-splitting endeavour had me separating the house keys at Shannon & Jordi's from everything else. The main reason for this was sheer bulk.

So last night I was leaving their place, but I left my stuff there. I had planned on coming back today to get it. I left on my scooter, which also has a separate key, and I made a point of bringing their spare house keys with me.

Today, I worked late and everyone else was gone. When I went to leave, it made me realise that although I had keys to a scooter and two apartments, I didn't have keys to work. To make matters worse, my work has the kind of locks that you even need to use a key on from the inside. I was trapped because I simply can't be bothered to carry all those keys at once.

David rescued me. My keys apparently are still at Shannon and Jordi's, and I can get them because I have keys to their house still. Still. Ridiculous.

You've got me Winnipeged

I was at least a little sheepish about staying at my girlfriend's place because her landlord lives right upstairs, and all the laundry I was doing and vehicles I was parking had to go at least a little noticed. I needn't have worried. Winnipeg hippies are now living in a van in the back yard!



My favourite part is how they set up a tarp over the van and tied it to the fence. The boys who live in the middle (between Lindsay and the landlord) seem to be their hosts. They've been camping out for like a week now. This is actually how I expected at least part of my summer to go.

Phase 9: Vicarious Dog-Sitting

So Jordi and Shannon are in Burnaby dog-sitting for their friends. I've gotten three different gigs from pet-sitting so far, but this one is even better because I don't even have to do anything! I'm only a short walk from work, and I get a whole place to myself!


This is my August summary of expenses:

Insurance: $213 for both vehicles once you pro-rate the van.

Extra gas: $80

Net Vehicle: $293

Electrical Bill paid in the West End: $22

Storage: $75

Cutting extra keys: $2

Beer left various places $13 or so.

Total saved: $285

Phase 8-A: Camping

It's ironic when sleeping outside costs way more than one's current housing situation.

Phase 8: Mooching Off Your Girlfriend

So my dearest lady friend is no longer homeless. Normally I would never impose on her roommates by living in her place, but currently, both roommates are out of town at the same time. Score.

When Kitties Go Wild

Cats are really my meal ticket when it comes to staying in someone's place. I mean, people who leave town are very generous when it comes to lending their places. When they don't have cats, I feel like they're doing me a favour. When they do have cats, I feel like I have something to offer in return.

Amanda, in whose place I currently reside, was adamant that I am a cat lover and a cat person. She re-iterated time and time again the importance of this. She said they go a bit crazy. Well, she was right!






Firstly, there is the issue of the grate. This grate is for keeping them off the very high deck. They really can't be trusted with these kinds of heights. Fair enough, but during the record-setting heat wave, I had the patio door open with the grate in whenever I was home because it was a sauna in there. The problem came when one of them sprinted across the room and jumped clean over the grate in pursuit of a fly. He was even looking like he wanted to scale the railing of the deck when I grabbed him. No more grate.






This is what happens when I leave a small bag of mixed nuts out. They break in and they spread them everywhere! What cats like nuts? I know two cats who are nuts!






This is what happens when I leave a glass on the table with water in it before bed. They break the glass to get the water! Why? Their water bowl was fresh, clean, and full! They're crazy!

The Mistress of Satan: 1993 - 2009

From Dylan's Facebook, the final days of the van:



It looks like they broke the front axle! Not what I expected:

The East Van is no longer.

A few weeks ago, ex-Spinoffs members Sideshow Luke and Mark Metallic jammed with me, Scott, and newest member Skytrain Shane just for fun in our space. This happened after the band pretty much fizzled out into nothingness for a variety of reasons including lack of time to practice hard enough to be any good, my inability to write songs, and general disinterest in the genre. Will the band ever do anything again? Probably. I'd really like to write the perfect retardo album (for the record, the perfect retardo album is currently "The Backchannel Broadcast" by The Lillingtons, followed closely by "Invasion USA" by The Riverdales), but until it's at least half-written, there is no point in playing live to promote
nothing new. The Spinoffs are suffering from the law of diminishing returns; the more we play shows, the less people come.

One noteworthy thing is we all were once again with the van we purchased together in September of 2002. Here's what it looked like then:



Here is what it looks like now:



In seven years, the van has been a weird sort of constant for me. I used to drive it to work when I lived in the suburbs. We did two full tours with it. I've used it to move repeatedly, and to help others move countless times. This summer, as documented here, I've started renting it to bands. I had at one point five appointments figured out. Alas, Dylan Thomas Rysstad drove the last inch in Saskatoon yesterday. Four days from the end of tour, the axle snapped in half and the Mistress of Satan, as Mark named it the day we got it, was no more.

I'm really glad I bought that car.

Hot in the city. Hot in the city tonight.

Well, this has been I think the hottest week in July here in recorded history. I'm here in a sauna on the 11th floor in the West End. I've half a mind to shave these cats. They're basically always in the window.

This apartment building has a pool, but I checked it out, and it's not nearly as nice as the Pacific Ocean, which is exactly two blocks away. I once dated a girl who lived in this neighbourhood (right across the street, actually), and I always said that as long as it wasn't winter, it was a great place to live. It's true, too. Fireworks wrap up on Saturday, and it's also gay pride this weekend too. It's going to be a zoo. As long as I can walk downhill in my trunks and jump in, it can stay 30 degrees all it wants.

Phase 7: The Westender

I've moved now to the West End of Vancouver, a very populated place with lots of yuppies and homosexuals. I'm on the 11th floor, which would be great for fireworks night tonight, except it faces North, not South. I'm going to try to figure out how to get on the roof.

Other perks include being two blocks from Sunset Beach, and a sauna and pool being right in the building. I have two cats here to take care of for the next three weeks or so.

Estimated budget for July:

Insurance: $238 for both vehicles.

Extra gas: $200

Less money recovered renting my van out to Dylan: -$300.

Net vehicle: $138.

Kitty litter: $12.

Storage: $75

Total: $225.

Total savings: $465.

Now you say you wanna live with me. 1, 2, 3, you wanna do my laundry.

How can you leave a place where people actually enjoy folding your laundry? Seriously!



I'm walking a bit now. I guess I insured the car for nothing. Oh well.

East Hatchback Diaries

So I loves me a bargain, I do. I lives me a bargain so much, in fact, that I bought a Volkswagen Golf a couple months ago. A friend was selling it cheap and I simply couldn't resist. Up until a little over a week ago, my plan was simple enough; I would use the van to move all the time, the scooter or bike to get to work, sell the van, go to Europe, return and drive the car (as it would be Winter by then). Simple, right? No. The thing is, I got greedy and started renting my van to bands between the moves I was doing from place to place. Now I have a van in another province, and I've had to insure the car to get around with my broken foot. Jeez. That's another $133/month cutting into my savings. But isn't it great?

Phase 6: Split Level/Split Bone

So things have been pretty sweet here thus far. Tara and Nevada live with two kitties named Ginger and Cilantro. Here is Ginger testing the new scratching post:


Here she is being a suck:



Morgan and Codi were kind enough to move my stuff. Living with a broken foot makes you appreciate people who carry things. Although this is the first place where I don't get a bed, I'm pretty glad because having some hands around here makes it a lot easier.

I Knew This Would Get Boring

Okay, so I ain't a fool. As exciting as pseudo-homelessness seems, it's not always fun to write about. Last week (Phase 4) was spent at Katie and Shane's, and ended without incident. I moved to Phase 5 (Morgan's house) before lending my van to Ian. It came back with a flat tire. Ian somehow managed to watch me floor pump the tire from in the rim to 35 P.S.I. before suddenly remembering pulling a jagged shard of metal out if the sidewall of the very same tire the night before. Classic Ian.

Anyhow, I never like driving the van in the sun because I have my scooter. My intention was to fix it within a week so I could get my stuff out of Morgan's place before he gets back. The trouble with the scooter is that the centre stand is severely bent such that the bike sits so low, one can't start it because the kick starter just slams into the ground. Ideally, the front wheel should be up about six inches so the starter can crank right around. In order to get around this, I've been putting the bike on the very edge of the sidewalk and kicking at it from the street below. That way, the starter hangs out over the street and has room to crank all the way over.

Yesterday, I left work halfway through the day to run errands. One errand was fixing the tire of the van. I did my usual sidewalk routine, and once I got her started, I went to take her off the stand, misjudged, and the whole shit came down, throwing me on the street. I took all the weight of the scooter on my right foot. It fucking hurt!

I spent the next few hours, pride in check, running errands. I hobbled around for blocks. I bought some beer and went back to Morgan's. Upon pulling off my shoe, I saw this:



Uh oh. I told Shannon what happened, and she made me go to the hospital. Fortunately, Morgan lives only two blocks from one, so I kicked off my other shoe and walked.

As it turns out, it's broken. I need crutches to walk, a tensor bandage to hold it together, and my van to get around. I also have to move tomorrow again, and suddenly have to rely on others just to move my clothes. To make matters worse, I've rented my van to Dylan for a solo tour starting next week, so I won't even have that. That's right, the cocky bastard with three vehicles and a bicycle is going to be rocking public transit. I'm sure I somehow deserve this.

Oh, and I had to steal Morgan's shoes. The guy is a snappy dresser:



He also has slightly bigger feet than I do, so his shoes fit over the tensor bandage:



Nice kicks, hey? At least I made my blog interesting.

Phase 4: Papa Two Guineas

I had planned in spending five days at Mark Wilson's house, but then I found out that Katie was going to visit her sister in St. Louis, and needed a sitter for her two Guinea Pigs. They're so cute!



Anyhow so not much to report. Free rent, cute pets, and central location. Also, I've been doing a lot of laundry. I did a bunch of laundry and Tara and Nevada's house when I was staying at Emily's, but there was so much left because I avoid paying for laundry. Now I'm totally caught up.